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Saturday, 21 March 2015

Life in a lagos "danfo"

Hello people! How una dey??

I'm sure someone like "Toinlicious" is saying stuff like "what is wrong with this girl and her disappearing act" ...*sorry na with super cute puppy eyes, juggling Lagos and a blog isn't easy o! I don't know how long I need to be settled ..chai!
I hail all home based bloggers!

I have some people in my life who have stories to share but don't want blogs so, some names will be joining the blog..*dancing*
My people, you will get to know them more with time.. *i hope they have fun stories tho..

Now, to the story..,

After plenty people including family, friends and plain uncategorised folk have repeatedly chewed me up for being too "agric" or "ajebo-ish" ( well, despite my semi-pako to mixed pako upbringing), I decided to do public transport 100% for a ** period..( I no fit write the exact period before you people start speculating further)..*wink wink

Really, I didn't see it as a challenge at all, it's not as if I'd never been on public transport before, plus it would help me burn those extra pounds I am trying to loose..what more tons of people do it everyday!
Let's do this..

Please please please there is one key thing you should never do when you are getting on a bus in Lagos ! I say Lagos because I have never been on a bus anywhere else in this country.

Do NOT wear a sleeveless top or dress.. Oh Lawd no! I realised a little too late. Common sense dawned when a sweaty passenger sat next to me and I could feel his sweat trickle down my arm..I held on the the pillar of God and didn't flinch and still had a smile on but inside me *smh* inside my heart of hearts,a tsunami of emotions was erupting as I quickly scanned the man for any signs of illness... *i certainly haven't forgotten about Ebola* I almost burst into tears when he scrapped a juicy lot of sweat from his forehead with his index finger and went ahead to allow it trickle down the seat in front of us, at this point I was wishing I had the powers of Elsa in Frozen: this same seat i'd probably have to touch when I want to get off the bus... Don't get me wrong.. I'm not a "germophobe"( but maybe I'm close) and I don't mean to be judgemental but hey handkies are 50naira.. I fought every spirit of courtesy in me not to hand the man a face tissue when finally,the gods of Greek mythology heard my cry when he got off at the next stop.. 
I thought my troubles were over until the person that moved next to me kept forgetting her body parts and parts of her accessory.. When she didn't have her elbow in my face *looking for God knows what in her bag* , she'd have her weave on my shoulder(please put the hideously long thing in a bun!)or the strap of her bag on my lap or the extra bag she was carrying coming to rest on my lap occasionally plus the fact that I was almost disappearing into the body of the bus as I kept hearing "sister adjust" until I could adjust no more... At this point I was void of emotion . I was just solemnly waiting for my stop.. 
..and the conductor called out "estate gate!" Joy unknown filled my heart .. I was home *or almost.. I got off, took a bike to my doorstep , dragged my self to the bedroom .., I yanked off my clothes and went straight into the shower ., all the while thinking "people do this everyday".. to do it sometimes isn't a problem but daily ... 

I got out of the shower,looked in the mirror and told myself "we would do this again tomorrow" but first I have to pick out a nice long sleeved blouse!! 

.I learnt a nice trick from my superwoman, my sweetest Lagos mother..,she said "when they tell you to adjust and you know there is really no possible adjustment ., just squirm a little .,(at this point I was laughing hard) and everyone is happy"

I was super happy when I put my newly acquired skill to practice the next day...I was beaming internally when I dramatically squirmed like human jelly..
.. That one na Tory for another day o jare!


Cheers people!!

Monday, 19 January 2015

How to revive a dead blog??

Hello fam!

My last post was almost a year ago...
When I wrote that , one very sharp person said hope I wouldn't take another one year to be back.. At that time I thought "Naah, can't be" but look she needs to pick up her fortune telling career because I dey tell you she go sell well well.
 Ladies and gentlemen with a round of applause help me welcome the one and only Lara of gene Afrique.!! *claps... my new official fortune teller..

Back to the matter.,my apologies to this page that allows me write things that I like .. Forgive me blog for this severe abandonment syndrome! 

I've tried to get my life back to how it used to be, ..but loosing my dad.. Hmm it hasn't been the same... Ok don't go "aww" it's been over a year so don't start rubbing my back saying "Pele"...
Sincerely it still feels like yesterday.., he was a huge chunk of my life and boy oh boy do people ever forget?? Personally, I don't think so or maybe I'll still find out,because not a single day has passed without him crossing my mind atleast 5times!!! I miss him everyday!

In the wake of that.., I ate myself to oblivion, oh yes I'm an emotional eater plus the stress of working in yeye government hospital in the mega city of Lagos..biko, I added a bucket load of 13kg in approx 14months .. Yes from a nice 68kg to a whooping 81kg ! yes..  yes , please clap for me nau!! πŸ˜„

You can go ahead and call me onijekuje ( a person who eats with no control in yoruba)... Lol

Not once in my life have I suffered from lack of self confidence until recently when everywhere I go people who know me look at me like Micheal Jackson saying orisirisi ... I bet you know the kinds of statements , diet and fitness principles that the self made dieticians will  throw at me , just because baba God has buttered their bread and I'm now fatter than them...diaris God oo!!
Please, I am a whole 5ft9, I am allowed! #denial....But these children of Adam and Eve are getting to me too much.." Ahh is it because of holiday you went and added all this weight.. Ogaooo, are you pregnant?" Kilode make una free me abeg.. 

So, my new mission "operation shed the excess pounds"!! Who cares to join me?
Ring the alarm., we are going to have goals, target, objectives and maybe a lifelong friendship to keep ourselves in check or atleast keep me in checkπŸ˜„πŸ˜„.

Interested people., please gather. A moderator will be needed , people with ideas and people like me who just want to tag along to loose weight and keep fit!!

Reach me by email or comments..

Biko forgive me if typos plenty ... In a rush.. My fellow Nigerians are waiting..
keeping people waiting to blog? Yes and no, so bite me...that's what nigeria turns you into..

Good news: my new niece..I leave you with her cuteness

Cheers people!