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Monday 17 December 2012

The "gods" of medicine

"I swear by Apollo, the healer, Asclepius, Hygieia, and Panacea, and I take to witness all the gods, all the goddesses, to keep according to my ability and my judgment, the following Oath and agreement................."
( excerpt from Hippocratic oath)

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The "gods" of medicine smiled upon me these past weeks..,before I proceed I am not an atheist or agnostic or whatever silly terminology all these unbelievers have coined, but my religious orientation is "twisted" anyways.

To my story, these past weeks, I have been blessed with the best mentor ..for that I thank God and those other "wannabe" gods of medicine..

My current rotation is Internal Medicine sub Gastroenterology.
I ended sub Hematology last week and ohh the patients were super cool, annoying, nice...(please help me conjure up a sea of mixed emotions)..,.

Imagine you are on rounds with the oga patapata(the overall boss) and when it's your turn to present your patient, you try to touch the patient and he lets out this shrill,earth-shattering kind of yell that had everyone in the room looking like what the heck is going on? and then he bursts out laughing saying "got ya!" ... In my mind I was thinking my oh my these oyinbo people have gorrit going good ooo!! you try that with a nigerian dokita in Nigeria? with the oga patapata.....hahahahha...I laff in japanese...no comment.


Another patient maybe cos he see say I be black person and he is half-caste so he decided to mess around.
Me: tell me what your complaints are?
Patient: I'm hearing voices in my head
In my mind i'm like O_o I have to go and tell the prof there's some patient mix up..,this guy should be in psyche ward before this guy jumps and grabs someone, outwardly ehn see me forming composure but inside I was taking steps backward thinking home is far ooo..,I still wan see my granny...abeg ooo.
The next instant the patient started laughing hysterically..,my first reaction was to take-off but then I looked closely and I caught the joke..,Can you imagine..?This 21 year old pikin was using me to catch trips ni oo...Choi!! I was thinking in my mind "if to say na naija we dey ehn>>I for first chase am comot for my front..but being in obodo oyinbo I had to smile and proceed.

I had another patient who has been a doctor about 10 years above my level....hahahaha...even you can conjure up a mental picture of what must have transpired...*kmt....I felt like knocking the man more than half the time.
 Anyone who is in Medicine would agree with me that you know you have a problem when your patient is a doctor...Oh it's always a big issue.
They refuse examinations, techniques, surgical methods...you just name it....they argue everything...arrrggggh...#toomuchtrouble.

All in all...my week has been super..
P.s: what's popping for Christmas oo??...send me invites to your Christmas parties abeg!! *heheehhehee. #mogbomoya (only the yoruba speaking people will get the hashtag part...i no know how to translate am>>no vex)

Cheers people!
xoxo