Life in a lagos "danfo"

Hello people! How una dey??

I'm sure someone like "Toinlicious" is saying stuff like "what is wrong with this girl and her disappearing act" ...*sorry na with super cute puppy eyes, juggling Lagos and a blog isn't easy o! I don't know how long I need to be settled ..chai!

I hail all home based bloggers!

I have some people in my life who have stories to share but don't want blogs so, some names will be joining the blog..*dancing*

My people, you will get to know them more with time.. *i hope they have fun stories tho..

Enjoy!!

Now, to the story..,

After plenty people including family, friends and plain uncategorised folk have repeatedly chewed me up for being too "agric" or "ajebo-ish" ( well, despite my semi-pako to mixed pako upbringing), I decided to do public transport 100% for a ** period..( I no fit write the exact period before you people start speculating further)..*wink wink

Really, I didn't see it as a challenge at all, it's not as if I'd never been on public transport before, plus it would help me burn those extra pounds I am trying to loose..what more tons of people do it everyday!

Let's do this..

Please please please there is one key thing you should never do when you are getting on a bus in Lagos ! I say Lagos because I have never been on a bus anywhere else in this country.

Do NOT wear a sleeveless top or dress.. Oh Lawd no! I realised a little too late. Common sense dawned when a sweaty passenger sat next to me and I could feel his sweat trickle down my arm..I held on the the pillar of God and didn't flinch and still had a smile on but inside me *smh* inside my heart of hearts,a tsunami of emotions was erupting as I quickly scanned the man for any signs of illness... *i certainly haven't forgotten about Ebola* I almost burst into tears when he scrapped a juicy lot of sweat from his forehead with his index finger and went ahead to allow it trickle down the seat in front of us, at this point I was wishing I had the powers of Elsa in Frozen: this same seat i'd probably have to touch when I want to get off the bus... Don't get me wrong.. I'm not a "germophobe"( but maybe I'm close) and I don't mean to be judgemental but hey handkies are 50naira.. I fought every spirit of courtesy in me not to hand the man a face tissue when finally,the gods of Greek mythology heard my cry when he got off at the next stop.. 

I thought my troubles were over until the person that moved next to me kept forgetting her body parts and parts of her accessory.. When she didn't have her elbow in my face *looking for God knows what in her bag* , she'd have her weave on my shoulder(please put the hideously long thing in a bun!)or the strap of her bag on my lap or the extra bag she was carrying coming to rest on my lap occasionally plus the fact that I was almost disappearing into the body of the bus as I kept hearing "sister adjust" until I could adjust no more... At this point I was void of emotion . I was just solemnly waiting for my stop.. 

..and the conductor called out "estate gate!" Joy unknown filled my heart .. I was home *or almost.. I got off, took a bike to my doorstep , dragged my self to the bedroom .., I yanked off my clothes and went straight into the shower ., all the while thinking "people do this everyday".. to do it sometimes isn't a problem but daily ... 

I got out of the shower,looked in the mirror and told myself "we would do this again tomorrow" but first I have to pick out a nice long sleeved blouse!! 

...

.I learnt a nice trick from my superwoman, my sweetest Lagos mother..,she said "when they tell you to adjust and you know there is really no possible adjustment ., just squirm a little .,(at this point I was laughing hard) and everyone is happy"

I was super happy when I put my newly acquired skill to practice the next day...I was beaming internally when I dramatically squirmed like human jelly..

.. That one na Tory for another day o jare!

By: ODJ

Cheers people!!

Xoxo..

How to revive a dead blog??

Hello fam!

Phew!

My last post was almost a year ago...

When I wrote that , one very sharp person said hope I wouldn't take another one year to be back.. At that time I thought "Naah, can't be" but look she needs to pick up her fortune telling career because I dey tell you she go sell well well.

 Ladies and gentlemen with a round of applause help me welcome the one and only Lara of gene Afrique.!! *claps... my new official fortune teller..

Back to the matter.,my apologies to this page that allows me write things that I like .. Forgive me blog for this severe abandonment syndrome! 

I've tried to get my life back to how it used to be, ..but loosing my dad.. Hmm it hasn't been the same... Ok don't go "aww" it's been over a year so don't start rubbing my back saying "Pele"...

Sincerely it still feels like yesterday.., he was a huge chunk of my life and boy oh boy do people ever forget?? Personally, I don't think so or maybe I'll still find out,because not a single day has passed without him crossing my mind atleast 5times!!! I miss him everyday!

In the wake of that.., I ate myself to oblivion, oh yes I'm an emotional eater plus the stress of working in yeye government hospital in the mega city of Lagos..biko, I added a bucket load of 13kg in approx 14months .. Yes from a nice 68kg to a whooping 81kg ! yes..  yes , please clap for me nau!! 😄

You can go ahead and call me onijekuje ( a person who eats with no control in yoruba)... Lol

Not once in my life have I suffered from lack of self confidence until recently when everywhere I go people who know me look at me like Micheal Jackson saying orisirisi ... I bet you know the kinds of statements , diet and fitness principles that the self made dieticians will  throw at me , just because baba God has buttered their bread and I'm now fatter than them...diaris God oo!!

Please, I am a whole 5ft9, I am allowed! #denial....But these children of Adam and Eve are getting to me too much.." Ahh is it because of holiday you went and added all this weight.. Ogaooo, are you pregnant?" Kilode make una free me abeg.. 

So, my new mission "operation shed the excess pounds"!! Who cares to join me?

Ring the alarm., we are going to have goals, target, objectives and maybe a lifelong friendship to keep ourselves in check or atleast keep me in check😄😄.

Interested people., please gather. A moderator will be needed , people with ideas and people like me who just want to tag along to loose weight and keep fit!!

Reach me by email or comments..

Biko forgive me if typos plenty ... In a rush.. My fellow Nigerians are waiting..

keeping people waiting to blog? Yes and no, so bite me...that's what nigeria turns you into..

Good news: my new niece..I leave you with her cuteness

Xoxo..

Cheers people! 

wow! it's been a long time since you last saw me

Hello blogfam!
Is anybody home?

It's been almost a year since I touched this page..alot has happened good and bad and oh yes the ugly!

A phase ended,a death, a new job and life changing decisions...
Tough ride..

Thank God I still came out on top..
Will bring back the gist later...
Don't worry ....it won't be a year before I'm back again.

I sincerely miss you all.

P.s tell everyone I'm back in town!

Cheers people!
xoxoxo

Birthday!

Hello people!

Pheeew! Time flies oooo...!

I'm a year older again .... Now now ....my last birthday still soo fresh with my "cold sore" outbreak on my cheek!!

I spent all day in bed, some friends you can never chase showed up( wonderful people) and it was a chatter filled day..I was in my nightdress with hair net all through...full lounging!

Some photos attached..

...and oh the cake was a super surprise and it tasted divine!



I can see the grey hairs ooo..
Lmao!

Thank you Lord for increasing me all around!!

Cheers people!

My current rotation

Hello my darling people!!

I have been neck deep in a ton of work, hence the blog abandonment. Pardon me..xxx

My current rotation is OB/GYN and it's my third of its kind in 3 years... But this time something seems to be different.
For every case I attend, every procedure or every chart or diagram I FLINCH EVERYTIME AS IN I ALMOST BURST INTO TEARS and the only thing in my head is "OH MY GOD! I HAVE TO DO THIS SOMEDAY!" Like push this head out of my thingy!!

It never bothered me but its like now I'm older and close to that future!! My first ever delivery taking was 4years ago and I was smiling and eating chocolate sef as it was going on but now all I can do is flinch and wince and almost push with the lady in labour!!

My colleague Dr Pato told me, if it was that bad your mum won't do it the second time! And I just said oh sharrap! You are just a male goat....LOL

My dear mothers of the world ...I hail thee!!
May you reap the fruit of your labour MOMS.

Big hug and lots of love!

Cheers people!

If you could see yourself

Somewhere in Africa ...
Just a few days ago, another young soul was gunned down,
You put the gun to his head and pulled the trigger maybe because he refused to part with a few quid or his phone..
You shot him point blank without mercy..that is someone's son,brother and friend..he was a Doctor
If only you could see yourself...

A few months before that ,4 promising young boys met their doom at your hands..
Someone shouted "thieves thieves"..
You didn't think twice , no questions asked you rushed out with machetes, tyres, stones and ever precious petrol...
You threw the tyres around them, added sprinkles of petrol asked around for matches , opened the box picked out a matchstick and lit it and set the boys ablaze...all these time the innocent boys were begging for mercy
It makes me wonder why you didn't call up your wives for some pepper,salt and seasoning so you can have a tasty meal of their flesh and pretend its roasted meat.
There were 4 of them and yes YOU killed them..
Yet another family you destroyed..
I wonder if you went to bed proud that night..
If only you could see yourself...

Somewhere in America..
You got out of bed that morning.., maybe you even had breakfast..
You put a gun in your jacket walked into a school and started an unbelievable scene ..
You shot 6 and 7 year olds and their teachers and then put a gun to your own head...what's with the cowardice ? You should have stayed on to defend your "heroic" dastardly unjustifiable act..

Your strange Asian twin woke the next morning somewhere in Asia and stabbed the same number of children you killed..
If only you could see yourself...

The prayer:
I pray you.., I mean you all including those who are still planning to carry out such acts..,those of you planning to rape and chop up humans both young and old for rituals and whatever..
I pray you all go to bed and dream, fall into a trance, get a revelation or whatever in which YOU are the victim..
The gun is put to your skull, the tyre around your body as the petrol drizzles on your bruised and torn up body and as you beg for mercy you hear chorus "kill him, set him ablaze", you are the one on a plane on your way to meet loved ones and someone else is strapped up with bomb trying to take you to your death with himself, you are the one being raped as you beg teary eyed and loose consciousness, you get stabbed and left by the roadside...the list is endless..

I would like to know the temperature of the sweat that would be pouring down your face when you wake as you hear A billion voices in your head chanting "now that you have seen yourself ..would you still carry out these acts?" while images of your acts and your plans flash before your eyes without cease in 5D and HD....

If you could see yourself... Would you still do it?

You might never get to read this ..., but the number of hearts that would echo these prayer and words will eventually transmit the effect to you...

Yes ..YOU will hear Our voices in your head..and it wouldn't be a serenade.

Signed,
The Voices.

Happy new year!!

Holla!

Yeah I know someone just thought "is this girl for real!" Happy new year ?Lol...yea I know it's 8th of  January already but hey at least I'm still sending my heartfelt greetings to all you beautiful people out there..

Wishing us all a year filled with the Almighty's ever bountiful grace and mercy...with those two under our belts this year...trust me there is no stopping us!

How I entered this new year? Well.., a lot of people must have spent the crossover praying mountains to move and pulling down stronghold and powers of "orisirisi"(I seriously hope one of those people prayed for me oo...#insurance-cover...lolz), others sitting with family simply thanking God for one another in a calm environment, some in the club doing their thing ....so many ways to get into the new year....
...but me..? Ahh you couldn't guess in a million aeons( if there's such a thing....lol!) how I crossed into the new year...
 Guess? Nope! You are wrong!!! Told ya you won't guess right..😄



People I slept peacefully and soundly into the new year ooo! #covering face shamefully ..I woke up Lo and behold ! it was 2013!

But hey! You can't blame me nau....I had to change time zone to meet family for the new year....and ohhh I could only get out on 31st ...you can imagine now yeah?  So after about 6-8 hours of travelling....I was wasted by touch-down!

...when my sister tried to complain....I simply told her it was new year in "my" time-zone a few hours earlier already and since I'm still on that timing bed time is earlier and here new year is a few hours after mine....lmao! Can you beat that?
Even as I was saying it....I couldn't help but think to myself..."well I actually am not lying" #straightface

Due to my sleep-in....I have decided to caption 2013 as my year of peace, ease, pleasure ,comfort and satisfaction...!😊 Cos that sleep ehn....it was superlicious....(well word doesn't exist ! But I know you get the jist *winks)

Now thinking of a resolution list...#unseriouspikin !

Hope your new year started on a good note!

Cheers people!!
xoxo